Strap them kids in, give ’em a little bit of vodka
In a cherry coke, we’re goin’ to Oklahoma
To the family reunion for the first time in years
It’s up at uncle Slaton’s ’cause he’s getting’ on in years.

No longer travels but he’s still pretty spry
Not much on talk and he’s too mean to die
And they’ll be comin’ down from Kansas and from west Arkansas
It’ll be one big old party like you’ve never saw.

Uncle Slaton’s got his texan pride
Back in the thickets with his asian bride
He’s got an airstream trailer and a Holstein cow
Still makes whiskey ’cause he still knows how.

Plays that Chocktaw bingo every Friday night
You know he had to leave Texas but he won’t say why
He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufala
Caught a great big old bluecat on a driftin’ jugline.

Sells his hardwood timber to the chippin’ mill
Cooks that crystal meth because his shine don’t sell
He cooks that crystal meth because his shine don’t sell
You know he likes that money, he don’t mind the smell.

My cousin Roscoe, Slaton’s oldest boy
From his second marriage up in Illinois
He’s raised in East St Louis by his mamma’s people
Where they do things different thought he’d come on down.

He’s goin’ to Dallas Texas in a semi truck
Caught from that big Mcdonalds, you know that one thats built up on that
Big old bridge across the Will Rogers turnpike
Took the big cabin exit stopped and bought a carton of cigarets.

At that indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings
In the Cherokee nation hit Muskogee late that night
Somebody ran the stoplight at the Shawnee bypass
Roscoe tried to miss him but he didn’t quite.

Bob and Mae come up from some little town
Way down by Lake Texoma where he coaches football
They were two A champions now for for two years running
But he says they won’t be this year, no they wont be this year.

And he stopped off in Tushka at the pop knife and gun place
Bought a SKs rifle and a couple full cases of that
Steel core ammo with the berdan primers
From some east bloc nation that no longer needs ’em.

And a desert eagle thats one great big old pistol
I mean fifty caliber made by bad-ass Hebrews
And some surplus tracers for that old BAR
Of Slaton’s as soon as it gets dark, we’re gonna have us a time
We’re gonna have us a time.

Ruth-Anne and Lynn come down from Baxter Springs
That’s one hell-raisin’ town way down in south eastern Kansas
Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store
That’s got Rolling Stones lips up there in bright pink neon
And they’re right downtown where everyone can see ’em
And they burn all night, you know they burn all night
You know they burn all night.

Ruth Ann and Lynn they wear them cut off britches
And those skinny little halters and they’re second cousins to me
Man, I don’t care I want to get between ’em
With a great big ol’ hard on like a old bois d’arc fence post
You could hang a pipe rail gate from do some sister twisters
‘Til the cows come home and we’d be havin’ us a time.

Uncle Slaton’s got his texan pride
Back in the thickets with his asian bride
He’s got a corner pasture and an acre lots
He sells them owner financed strictly to them.

It’s got no kind of credit ’cause he knows they’re slackers
And they’ll miss that payment and he takes it back
Plays that Choctaw bingo every Friday night
He drinks his Johnny Walker at that club 69
We’re gonna strap those kids in give em a lil bit of Benadryl
And a cherry coke we’re goin’ to Oklahoma, we’re gonna have us a time
We’re gonna have us a time.